When its time to tell your partner, begin by simply telling them that you have genital herpes. Calmly explain that while the word “herpes” tends to scare people, its a very common disease (one in five people have HSV2) and carriers may be completely unaware that they have it.

Is having herpes a big deal?

Millions of people have herpes, and plenty of them are in relationships. For most couples, herpes isnt a huge deal. Try to go into the conversation with a calm, positive attitude. Having herpes is simply a health issue — it doesnt say anything about you as a person.

Why you shouldnt get a herpes test?

CDC does not recommend herpes testing for people without symptoms. This is because diagnosing genital herpes in someone without symptoms has not shown any change in their sexual behavior (e.g., wearing a condom or not having sex) nor has it stopped the virus from spreading.

Do doctors routinely check for herpes?

Major medical associations regularly publish guidelines for how doctors should practice. When it comes to STD screening, the general consensus and recommendation is to not test individuals for herpes unless they have symptoms. Most people with herpes have no idea theyre infected.